Getting to like you, getting to hope you like me (before the Influence conference) - Part Three

I like to be prepared for things and as someone who moved 15 times within 15 years I am good at packing. Needless to say I was packed for influence two weeks ago so that I wouldn't have to worry about forgetting anything. However my birthday was yesterday and my momma bought me five gorgeous scarves so my outfits may change to incorporate a few of those. :)

Pictured below is the list I made and the items I packed two weeks ago. Things not on the list that I will bring include my purse with all the essentials ("buying power", water bottle, Chapstick, lotion, nail clipper, deodorant, sunglasses and a small notebook). In my car will be a GPS and music. Oh and if we're talking snacks too, LUNA bars and Go-Go Squeeze apple sauce packets will be the two quick grabs I'll make.

Home Again

10am, Sitting on my bed, downloading photos from our vacation, listening to Jenny & Tyler's "A Song for You". The sound of the furnace running and heat blowing out through the wonderfully old fashioned vent in my room is getting me used to the idea of the cold season approaching. Goose bumps on my arms, feet tucked under a cozy fleece blanket, tummy filled happily with apple cinnamon oatmeal, thinking its about time to put the kettle on for a cup of tea.

Processing the past few days, pondering the future, trying to keep the plans for the present straight. Conference call for my mission trip to India tonight (I'm so afraid I'm going to forget all about it... again), last minute planning of what we need to buy for groceries and what I will wear tomorrow (it's my 20th birthday!), waiting to hear back from the teacher I am subbing for on Tuesday at the homeschool co-op, so glad I packed for the Influence conference two weeks ago so that I can have a day to catch my breath on Wednesday before getting in the car early on Thursday and heading to Indiana.

The days and years roll on like the green hills that I call home and the waves from my childhood home and favorite places to visit. I like change like that, a slow pace that gives you time to savor every step and warm up to the new, a steady pace that allows you to linger here and there along the way but doesn't let you grow stagnant. Meditating on the beauty of this truth, "For everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven." Resting in the hands of the God who created seasons and waves and hills and knows every crevice of my heart and life.

11am, haven't moved, pictures are edited and being uploaded to various social media sites. Yellow leaves falling through the sky and blowing past my top-story window. Jenny & Tyler still playing in the background, hot air still blowing through the vent beneath my bed-side table, feet getting sticky and warm from being under the fleece blanket, really ready to have a nice cup of tea now that I've recalled the many mugs of fragrant liquid I consumed during our Holiday by the lake.

Remembering today all the movies I loved as a child (the Little Princess, the Secret Garden, Heidi, Misty, Black Beauty, and the classic Disney movies) and the year that I set out to read one piece of classic literature per week, and did it for months, but not the whole year. Thinking about how the things that you experience as a child play a big part in shaping you into the adult you become. I've considered myself an adult for a few years now but somehow my 20th birthday makes it official. As a book lover and movie lover, a people lover and a big-time journaler (which apparently isn't a word, but I'll use it anyway) I am fascinated by the study and development of characters, fictional or real. I love classic literature for the deep characters and fantastic character development they are made up of, I love biographies for how they paint a picture of people I admire or am intrigued by, and I love to journal to process who the Lord is shaping me to be and to look back on where He has brought me from.

The woman I want to be today was influenced by my travel-loving and entrepreneurial Dad, my country-girl and home-maker Momma, my fascinating "Grandma Great", Jim Elliot, Cinderella, "Little Mommy", C. S. Lewis's books, Rich Mullins, the American Girl's (Samantha and Kit especially), Belle from Beauty and the Beast, Robin Hood, Steven Curtis Chapman and Ronald Reagan, among others. I desire to have the grace, influence, humility, graciousness and compassion of a princess who was raised in a cottage, was best friends with her Daddy, could befriend timid woodland animals, and can do house-keeping as good as any maid. I want to be a Proverbs 31 woman for my husband and children, I want to aid in the rescue and loving of vulnerable children around the world, I want to teach my children at home, I want to garden like my Mammy (mom's mom), do photography like my Daddy used to, cook like my Momma and manage a house in the country on lots of land just like a great lady would. I want to be as adventurous as my childhood bestie, possess the hospitality of my other dear childhood friend, the joy of beautiful Jade, the tender heart of my sweet friend in Pennsylvania, the humility of my darling Kelsey, the unconditional love of dear Jessica, the ready laugh of my Lydia-friend, and generous heart of precious Mikayla.

I have been so aware of the Old Man still alive and in control in my life of late. I have also been so aware of the wonder of who my God is. The more like Him I become, the closer to Him I draw, the more I see state of my soul and nastiness of my life apart from Him and the more I hide myself in the truth that my great God is IN me, FOR me and WITH me. I have developed a flawed way of handling sin I see in myself and in others and the result of sin the world at large. I fixate on it, meditate on it, shake me head at it, hang my head over it, despair over it. "In every season, You are still God, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship." Every glimpse of sin in my wicked heart and those all around me should only send my eyes straight up to the Lord in praise, for He is Lord of all and able to save all who will let Him in. I can bring my wickedness before Him in complete faith that He is already aware of it and ready to transform that part of my life from a fallen nature to His likeness. I have been given His power, His joy, His love, His mercy... I can forgive and show compassion to my enemies, I can walk in peace and rejoice always in spite of my imperfection and all the mistakes I make through the day. Walking in despair makes the Old Man the one people see when they see me, walking in the triumph of Jesus' blood makes Him the one people see when they see me. I want to be that light, that tangible testimony, to the people all around me on whom I have influence.

12pm, sitting in my little slipper chair, in need of chap-stick, thinking its about time I removed the old nail polish from my toes and re-paint them, hoping the wrinkles come out of my blouse before tomorrow. This is where I am right now and I can tell you that I am all here, in the present. Smiling because I am loved by the best Man who ever lived, rejoicing in my heart at how faithful He is and how sure our relationship is of lasting forever because of that, anticipating with excitement what He has in store for the rest of the day, for tomorrow and for the (chilly) remainder of the year.

Getting to know all about you (before the Influence conference) - Part Two

Good morning from the shore of Lake Michigan! Last day of vaca. and I am right at that point where you think you could get used to being on vacation but part of you is really ready to go home, back to your bed and your food and your car. You know that feeling? It's funny how the nicest part about going away for a bit is coming back home.
Now, onto another post link-up with the ladies I'll be meeting in Indy in about five days.

// What was your favorite food when you were a child? //
I don't remember having a favorite food. I know I wasn't a picky eater as a child so maybe I was just content with anything (except spinach manicotti -- that was utterly disgusting to me, as a child) as long as my momma made it. Dad's cooking was always more casual than mom's but it was special to me too.
To this day I'm not crazy about cooking for myself but it's super special to me when my mom or dad cooks. Can having food prepared for you with love be a love language?

// When you have 30 minutes of free-time, how do you pass the time? //
Depends on the day and where I am. If its a typical school day, the kids are doing their school quietly and don't need my help for 30min I will probably sit in the silence and catch up on blogs or save inspiration on pinterest, clean the kitchen up or even walk down our road to get some fresh air and fresh patience. If I'm in town and I have 30min it's either because I'm running errands to get out of the house (which I will happily spend in our super Target) or because I have to wait in town to pick someone up before heading back home. If that is the case, I will still go to super Target, I'll stop by my dad's office to say hello and my mom's job at the cafe where we may get to chat a bit between rushes.

// Have you ever had something happen to you that you thought was bad but it turned out to be for the best? //
Nothing immediately comes to mind. However, I've been a fearful person most of my life and it take a long time for me to warm up to new things so I know I've thought a lot of new or unexpected things that happened to me would be bad but the Lord holds my life in His hands and I know that even the "bad" that does happen is for my good, my growth, and trusting Him through it all brings Him glory.
Wait! I just thought of one! Flying by myself for the first time. I thought it was a horrible idea but because of it I've traveled many places on my own (including Europe!) now.

// What is your favorite body part? //
My fingers (I think they're pretty) and my collar bones (I think they're elegant). Those are the first that come to mind. I really like every thing about how the Lord made me though. I'm not insecure about my looks.

// If you could choose to stay a certain age forever, what age would it be? //
Pass. There are some ages in my life that have been really sweet and are some of my dearest memories but I don't want to stay in any one of them forever. Sounds like groundhogs day. I'd much rather keep right on living and growing and changing and making more sweet memories of treasured times in the process.

All for now.
{I'm singing "Getting to know you" from "The King and I" now.}

Getting to know you (before the Influence conference) - Part One

{Before I begin let me just say that I'm using the blogger app on my phone to write this from our vacation hotel room so if there are typos and less variation of font size, that is why. Anywho...}

// What’s the #1 most played song on your iPod? //
Apparently I can't check on my phone's iTunes what I listen to the most so I was going to venture a guess... The artists I listened to a lot while driving this summer included: Taylor Swift (just realized this year that I like a lot of her old stuff), Brandon Heath (one of my favorite artists to "default" to), and Frank Sinatra (and lots of his contemporaries on my Frank Sinatra or Bing Crosby pandora playlists).
Edited to add: I checked my number of plays on all the songs in my iTunes and discovered that the most played song I have is "River Flow In You" by Yiruma which is an instrumental song. In fact, the top sixteen most played songs are instrumental. The most played song with lyrics is "Great Reward" by Shane and Shane.

// If you had to work on only one project for the next year, what would it be? //
I'm not at liberty to speak about it but there is definitely a project I want to work on next year.

// What story does your family always tell about you? //
Growing up my best friend and I were inseparable. Eating dinner at her house was great, but a little dangerous. The food was always so good but the family conversation was always so hilarious that I was in danger of laughing with food in my mouth and consequently either choking on it or spitting it all over. I finally decided that I was going to learn how to eat and laugh at the same time. And after lots of practice I mastered it!
Then a day came where I was having lunch with my own family and someone said something funny that caught me off guard and a bit of the food in my mouth slipped through my well trained lips and hit my little brother in the forehead.
I have never slipped up like that ANY other time in my life (that I recall) but my family still warns every guest that sits across from me not to make me laugh when I have food in my mouth.

// The best part of waking up is? //
Processing what I dreamed of the night before in the quiet and calm of my room while the sun pours in my window.

// What is your favorite time of day/day of the week/month of the year? //
My favorite day of the week is Saturday. The one day I can sleep in if I want/need to (I homeschool my siblings during the week) and then do whatever I want to do with a whole day!

See you all again tomorrow!

Caught up in the mundane

Anyone else find themselves getting caught up in the mundane? 

Freaking out about little things like the cat eating something off the island, stubbing your toe on the banister, waking up a half hour earlier than you wanted to, kiddos not catching on to their math lesson quick enough for your liking, the internet and phone not working for a few days, only getting bills in the mail, endless questions to which you just gave the answer so why wasn't anyone listening?

How about treasuring the first frost on your window and waking up an hour earlier than you usually would just to go out and capture it on camera, snuggling on the couch with your siblings while you help them wade through math problems, taking time out of your day to just laugh with each other, a warm kitty purring beside you, sunshine streaming in the windows, homemade sticky buns to be gobbled up throughout the day, time to read, friends to mail letters to while they're away at college, and Jesus' mercy being new every morning so how do I think I have any right to be anything but happy?

{ what i am learning }

Be slow to anger.

The Fruit of the Spirit is... joy.

The Influence Conference

a blog post written by an attender of the Influence Conference
linked-up for the Influence Conference community that is being built even now, weeks before the conference!

How do you really get to know someone? Do you know someone when you have been introduced to them and learned their name (whether you remember it later or not)? Is it when you know what "everyone else" says about them (whether their information is credible or not)? Maybe its when you make small talk with them every now and then because they are your bank teller, the cashier at your favorite store, or waiter/waitress at the cafe you frequent. Do you know someone when you know about their past, things like where they grew up and what their childhood was like? Or when you know what their dreams are and where they are headed with their life? Perhaps you know someone because somehow you ended up in the same place at the same time, went through the thick and the thin for a week or two and that created a bond of comradeship. Personally, I think you can only know someone, truly know them, when there is a deep level of trust shared between you, the kind of trust that allows you to be vulnerable with your struggles and pains and fears and hopes... When you don't have to be there for them but you choose to be so you are there when things are really hard and not at all pretty but you are also there in the times of rejoicing and celebration (and those times are all the sweeter for the endured trials)... When you know the quirks that make them unique, the influences that molded their tendencies and habits and way of thinking, the past experiences or present longings that make little things very special to them (while they remain superfluous to others)... When you appreciate how God created them inside -- their natural talents, and outside -- how she has a long neck that is perfect for wearing scarves and he has freckles splashed on his face, she has a dimple on one side of her face that appears whenever she smiles are crooked smile and he has peculiar toes that none but those closest to him have ever seen.
Some say that social media profiles and blogs give access to anyone in the world to know you personally, that "about me" sections reveal to others what ought only to be learned from personal acquaintance, but I disagree. You cannot ever know someone fully over the internet, just as you can never know someone fully that you haven't "done life" with. I have made many friends through blogging and social media connections, and I am glad to have the ability to do that, but I only know enough about them that I know I would like to know them better. So, you may know a bit about me, enough to know whether you would like to know me better or not, but you probably will never truly know me -- because few people are permitted that privilege. That being said, here are three things that will clue you in to who I am:
1) I love people. I am intrigued by their stories and am curious about what made them into the person they are. I treasure everyone differently, because everyone is different. I am as delighted by new friends as I am grateful for old friends. But of all the people that I cherish, and there are many, I believe that children hold the place nearest to my heart.
2) I am an analyzer, observer, avid-journaler, deep-thinker, lover of knowledge, treasurer of wisdom and one who gives plenty of time to processing. Perhaps you think that all of these are different and should be listed separately. Think that, if you wish. I shall leave them listed together just the same. :)
3) As you cannot hear my thoughts or know my heart, you will likely pick up on my gestures, appearance, posture, facial expressions, and other exterior things that serve to create a definition of "me", so it is only fair for me to warn you that you may learn very little about me through mere observation. I am a wall-flower, an introvert, very comfortable in silences that others may find awkward, not athletic or lively but quite strong-willed, creative and, while I appreciate the city as a marvelous place to people-watch, I am most at-home in the countryside. [In case you have not noticed by this point, while I am very quiet and generally say little, when I have something to say I am rather longwinded. Jane Austen and I might have been good friends.]

I am looking forward to the Influence Conference with great anticipation because 1) I will meet ladies from all over that I am sure to adore. While the idea of meeting a bunch of people scares the introvert inside of me, I love people too much not to get to know them if they are bound to be kindred spirits.
2) I will learn so many practical things and find rich inspiration from the lives and experiences of others.

As for the one thing I cannot leave home without it is a toss-up, either my iPhone or my Camelbak water bottle... I don't think I can choose between the two of them.

--- --- ---

I thrive in community but have a hard time breaking into/getting plugged in to it so I am so excited that I have a little community at Influence already built-in with roommates! Can't wait to meet these lovelies: Emily, Heather & Therese!

Funds are low again...

Funds are low again, hallelujah! That means God trusts us and is willing to leave His reputation in our hands.

– CT Studd –

This quote blessed my waiting, expectant heart as I approach a deadline for fundraising for my trip and have not met my goal. "Waiting on Him for Whom it is no vain thing to wait." -- Jim Elliot