On a frigid winter day like this, tucked inside, reheating the kettle of water for the fourth time...
We've been talking about my move to New Jersey and you've asked, "But what about your
house? You just got settled into it!"
Yes. It's true. The past ten months of home ownership have been a fantastic experience of being able to truly test the limits of my ability to make a home and a life on my own. The risk, the experiments, the mistakes, the limitless dreams, the limited budget, the hard work and financial responsibility grew me. Having the blank canvas of a whole house to fill was a beautiful challenge. Like a photographers portfolio my first remodel displays some of my very best work -- from vision casting to demolition, to remodel and decorating. I am so content here in my Little House. I couldn't ask for anything more.
Yet this extravagant blessing of a house has been a blessing meant to be shared. I knew this from the beginning. It is my pleasure to move out and move on and allow other people to inhabit the refuge I've created. It's my joy to leave beauty behind me as I journey on.
But at the end of the day, it is just a house. A house I labored over and poured myself into and made my own, yes. A beautiful and charming and restful place that most people don't get, certainly not as their
first house, yes. But still just a house. There will be more to come.
[And the shine goes out of any place you stay, no matter how lovely and cozy, if it isn't the center of the Lord's will for you. I'm following the one who didn't have a place to lay His head during His ministry on the earth. I've concluded that even a cave becomes a beautiful refuge if that's where He is.]
Chelsea, I looooove your writing and photography! I'm in a similar place as you but still trying to figure out stuff like finding a subleaser, responsibilities to room mates, my job and even church stuff. What do you do about all the people depending on you? This is something I struggle with and would like to hear more about How do we know it's ok to quit something
ReplyDeleteDear friend, thanks for asking. I appreciate your voice!
DeleteI knew that my life was intertwined with other lives and that I had an effect on each of them before, but I never realized how many people until I began this transition. I'm an oldest child and have grown up with a lot of responsibility. It feels unnatural to break away from responsibilities, to feel like you leave people hanging, I know. It's taken several months for The Lord to teach me that what He is moving me toward is not quitting in the negative way we perceive quitting, but is just continuation on the path He has for me which requires leaving here and beginning again somewhere new and unknown. When He leads on, we follow, because we trust His heart we trust His timing. If He is calling us forward we don't stay behind, even if it looks like the work here is unfinished. He finishes what He starts, so we can go without regrets, certain that anything yet undone is in His hands and what He wanted to do through us here is done.
It's about knowing the Voice of the Shepherd and following it. Lots of prayer, open hands with your plans allowing Him to instead fulfill His plans, and willingness to surround yourself with wisdom from many others who may not understand but who do have your best interest at heart are important to having your heart in the right place. Greatly it comes down to obedience in faith and humility though -- being willing to go when He calls even if it's misunderstood, because following Him doesn't always look logical and not everyone will understand.