Monday, July 14, 2014

Come Alive //

"This is what You do, this is what You do, You make me come alive."
// bethel music

"Healing doesn't mean the damage never existed, it means the damage no longer controls our lives."
// unknown

I had heard that the School of Power + Love was coming to Madison, WI two weeks ago through a friend and decided to go spontaneously. I wanted to be stretched, edified, and come to know my God more intimately. It wasn't until I was preparing to leave that Jesus whispered that healing was going to come to me while I was there. It had been prophesied over me a month or so ago that I would find complete healing in pouring out on others. I'm only recalling that now, looking back.

For anyone unfamiliar with it, the School of Power + Love focuses on teaching Believers their identity in Christ, providing a safe community to grow with in spiritual giftings and also empowering you to step out in love toward others everywhere you go. I've been learning to hear God's voice for several years and at the school I was able to practice hearing words of knowledge from Him and receive prophetic words from Him as well for individuals I had literally just walked up to and met. It was very encouraging to do these exercises with believers from all over, not just Wisconsin, but the world.

Two women received words of knowledge for me. The first was that dance is a special connection for me with God. Its close to my heart, it draws us close. This is true. Its an expression of freedom for me, a form of worship. The other was that God's theme song, that He sings and dances over me, is "happy". I received this word though I wasn't experiencing it. "Happy, eh, Jesus? Okay. I guess it is time to be happy again in life." Whole, happy Chelsea started breathing again and immediately people noticed. A dear friend said to me as we spoke briefly that night, "You always sound so perky!" That's Christ in me; this new Chelsea coming alive.

The days were long and tiring. That never changed but with each consecutive day I grew more thankful in the face of the length and more joyful in response to the tiredness. Friday afternoon -- our third day of worship, wisdom and walking out -- we were standing as Bob closed our second session with prayer. As he spoke I was overcome and sat down with my hands open on my lap and wept. My hands caught every tear as they fell and Jesus whispered that He had been catching every tear I had cried in every day past.

As I dried my eyes a young man named TJ was passing by me and he stopped to ask if I was alright and gave me a hug. I met his friends Tanner and Izzi and joined them during our break/outreach time. We went to the mall and spent our time loving on each other and others we passed by. TJ and I shared bits of our stories with each other while we ate, we also encouraged each other to step out of our comfort zones and obey the Spirit's leading as we ministered to strangers. In just two hours a couple people in the mall that we had met had come to feel like precious friends and other people from Power + Love that we ran into -- Dionta, a young man from MI, Rick and two of his kids Kira + Kaden, as well as two little girls: Christine, from South Africa, and Phoebe -- had come to feel like family.

myself, Izzi, Dionta + TJ

The Lord's presence is very real to me even in the times that I sense it the least. I've sensed His presence clearly and strongly many times but never truly felt Him before. During the evening worship and session though the Spirit was heavy upon me. I had been saying to the Lord, "Look at Your beautiful Bride responding to Your love!" as I listened to the Church praise Him. I got a picture of a Groom seeing his bride and being undone by the sight of her -- the one he loves -- weeping with joy and unable to look away from her, he's so completely and lastingly lost in love of her. A woman came over feeling led to pray for me. She prayed, "You have such a hunger [for intimacy with the Lord]. You've been hungry for a long time. I'm releasing satisfaction of that hunger tonight. The relationships in your life are going to be impacted by it. God is saying, 'I will never look away from you. Don't look away from Me. Its breaks My heart when you look away. That's when you start sinking. Keep your eyes locked on Mine. You're freed to never have to look away again. I will never look away. I declare intimacy over you.'" The picture of the Groom weeping at the sight of His Bride was burning in my mind. My knees were buckling under the weight of the Spirit. I knew that if I wanted to I could resist it and stand straight, but when your Lover comes near you receive Him!

Anyone whose heart was burning, knowing the Lord had specific purpose for them was invited to the front of the sanctuary. I wasn't going to, but the Spirit nudged me, so I went up with many others. As soon as I got up I surrendered to the weight of the Spirit upon me, kneeling with my face on the ground. He had promised a present satisfying of the years of hunger I'd had for knowledge of Him, nearness to Him, the sound of His voice and an intimate understanding of His heart, but I knew it was also going to be a continual satisfying of that hunger in every day to come. From all the days in my life past,  I know that when I'm alive in Him and compelled by His love, purpose to pour out in and direction to walk in always comes. Under His presence I couldn't open my eyes and could hardly move, it felt like the rest and peace of a deep sleep except I was awake. Praising Him and agreeing in prayer as others somewhere around me were prophesied over and blessed with calling and empowerment I asked Him where He wanted to "send" me. At that time a calling was prophesied over me. I don't know this because the person speaking was looking at me or because others around me were, I was flat on my face and unable to move so I couldn't see if this was the case or not, but everything he said resonated in the depths of my heart and made it burn and I shook with humility and joy and thankfulness as Love touched me. I rolled onto my side gently, as though rolling over in my sleep, and I don't know how long I was resting in the Spirit there on the ground but when I was able to sit up again I did. A young lady knelt down by me right away and asked if she could pray for me. I said yes. She asked what for and I said, "Ask Him, He'll tell you. He will tell you." He did and her faith was encouraged as she received her first very accurate word of knowledge. Essentially, my broken heart was healed and whole, every bit of it, I was receiving the love and purpose of my God freely and she got a picture of chains on the ground beside me [no longer attached to me].

The remaining time that we had in Madison was lived to the full. Countless people spoke over me that my face was radiant with Jesus, that I shone bright, that the beauty of Him draws people to me, that they could read peace and love and joy all over me. "Praise Jesus! Praise Jesus! That's not how I arrived here." Unable to believe it one man asked me what I meant and I said I had come with a heart that was broken. "I never would have thought you were broken hearted! It's finished, darling!" Amen.

"Pull me a little closer, take me a little deeper, I want to know Your heart. Because Your love is so much sweeter than anything I've tasted, I want to know Your heart. We will see the look on Your face and we will hear the tone in Your voice and we will be changed as we behold You."
// bethel music

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