Over Tea //

In school I certainly learned more about the Civil War than about the Civil Rights Movement. I dont know much but I do know that for such a ethnically diverse and multi-cultural land as America to still dance awkwardly around the subject of race is a clue pointing to a much deeper issue. Its something to be addressed. When there is conflict in your marriage does it get resolved by ignoring the issue, harboring your opposite thoughts and feelings, and pretending that there isnt an issue all the while being on pins and needles afraid youll step on the toes of the other at any moment and things will explode? Thats a rhetorical question. Of course not! You restore unity by facing the conflict and holding tight to each other as you seek to understand the other's heart, to grow through the issues together and keep the bonds of trust and open communication strong so that you foster the safe place for vulnerability and intimacy in your relationship. This works to unify the vast differences of two genders through love and respect, I suspect it works just as well to intentionally tend to unifying our diversity.

"I really care about you. Help me understand." Ive heard my Dad say this to me as my head was buried in my pillow saturated with hot tears and he sat on the foot of my bed bewildered at what had caused the melt down. Sometimes he was frustrated at my emotion, certain it was an over-reaction or, preoccupied with what seemed must be more important issues, was inconvenienced by the deeper time and focus I was requiring. Too far removed from the cares of the childhood season of life to relate, speaking too quickly from a position of ignorance regarding what it is like to be in the body of a woman as he is a man, or simply ill-equipped for an issue never before encountered and never anticipated, his words were not always fitly spoken. Such a picture of our response, as white Americans, to the tender issue of race. It always made such a difference when my Dad simply entered into my hurt because he cared deeply about me and, not presuming to have all the answers but sincerely wanting to do all he could to help and comfort, invited me to help him understand.

Dr. King -- Martin Luther King, Jr. -- is a figure recognized all over the world. We know a phrase of his most famous speech -- much like we know about one sentence of the documents that founded our country's government, and his birthday is a national holiday which to us mostly has meant a day off of school. For me, he was the starting point for my education on racial tensions and the strive to close the gap, to bridge it, through history. I wanted to hear from the heart of a spokesperson, someone who much, if not all, of the black community trusted to represent their own hearts well. I wanted to hear from someone not ready to pick a fight because theyd been kept down so long and it had wound them so tight they finally snapped, but from someone who stood their ground in the face of ugly opposition and revealed the suffered injustices through raw but non-violent displays. I had never known he was a pastor. Im not sure that Id even known he was a brother, of mine, in the Lord. I had just finished reading his brief but revealing account in "Why we cannot wait", which opened my eyes, when the movie "Selma" was released in theaters. The film recounts the foundational account of the march to secure equal opportunity to vote through Selma, Alabama in 1965. Almost as difficult to watch as "12 Years a Slave", "Selma" was the most powerful and inspiring films I have seen in years.

The original song, "Glory" from "Selma" took home an Oscar this year. John Legend and Common performed it live at the awards show and it gave me chills.



We cant afford to walk in ignorance on this and reconciling the issue cannot wait. Before you ask why I care so much, be careful, for why could anyone NOT care? No one is more equipped to get down into the trenches of all of this tender, powerful stuff than the Church. Unity is a heart-desire of our God -- He walked among us in human flesh just to reconcile us back to Him, and that when we were at war against Him and had nothing about us that would be found desirable. Again, being peace makers does not mean avoiding an issue or pretending it doesnt exist. Peace making is a fruit of love, ultimately, and if we are being truly loving we know that putting another's needs before our own and considering their life worth more than our own is what that looks like in its most basic form.

I observe the life of Dr. King or Solomon Northup and I count myself blessed to identify myself as a fellow member of the human race with them, as well as the true Body of Christ. I want to be like them. I want my kids to look to them as an example. They look like their heavenly Father, with their patience and long-suffering and love of mercy, and their understanding of His heart through the experience of it in the midst of tribulation is breathtakingly powerful. Character transcends racial borders. Love pulls down the barriers.

I went to a grade school concert tonight for the little boy I nanny. The performers and the audience alike represented many ethnicities and they werent sitting in segregated clumps by color but rather as families all mixed together. Friends, neighbors, co-workers, spouses, all mixed. How its supposed to be. Just like adults and children mix, like men and women mix. We have separate and unique needs and perspectives and issues but we gladly enter into that diversity, seeking after unity, because we love each other.

Stitch Fix >>

"Fix" #4 appeared on my doorstep right before the weekend. It put a skip back into my step. Made it feel like delightful things were around any corner even as winter continued to persist and bills started arriving in the mail.

Market & Spruce // Sam Hi-Lo short sleeve tee
size M
Never have I ever tried on a top of this style, though I have seen them on several of you in recent months and have liked them. The jersey-knit fabric of this piece turned me off in the end but had it been a silk or linen piece I would probably have swooned.
$44.00

Honey Punch // Layla striped elbow-patch detail cardigan
size M
I was just saying the other day that I wished I had another sweater-like layer that was super cozy but more spiffy than a sweatshirt. How did they know? As simple as the layer is, the pattern is arresting, the soft-knit is luxurious, and the elbow-patches won my heart instantly. I couldnt help myself.
$48.00

Octavia // Delta lightweight geo-print infinity scarf
So silky-soft and the print was super boho which is fun. I felt like the colors fought with my skin tone just enough that I wouldnt want to wear them that near my face so had to pass on this piece.
$28.00

Honey Punch // Stinson tab-sleeve top
size M
Ive had a few pieces be slightly too small on me in past fixes but this one was a surprise, it was too big. I know the style is intended to be a bit baggy but not as bag-like as it felt on. The colors were very muted but combined with these heels the red popped a bit better. The style of the piece is very like me. A size smaller it would have been more tempting.
$54.00

Just Black // Connely skinny jean
size 8
These stunning skinnies had status all on their own! There was a lot of stretch in them which was the only way I was able to button them at the waist -- I have wider hips than these were made for. The length was ideal. I could tell they were just too snug to be practical. This was confirmed when I took them off and I realized the blood circulation had been hindered to my legs in them. Haha!
$78.00

Shout out to my chic Target wedges that, I feel, really made each of these outfits. I love that part of Stitch Fix, getting to try on the pieces with the rest of your wardrobe in the comfort of your own home. So convenient, so fun. It hasn't gotten old to get a package of delightful surprises picked out just for me in the mail -- even though Ive had to switch the frequency to every-other month with my current budget. If you still havent taken the plunge and scheduled your first "Fix", you may as well go poke around the website a bit, right? https://www.stitchfix.com/referral

not sponsored by Stitch Fix

Meet Your Neighbors //

Driving around town, running errands. I stopped for gas and as I was pulling back out to go home I paused for some pedestrians to cross first. At first glance I saw a white couple with a stroller coming from the right and a middle aged black man coming from the left. I took a minute to really look at them both. The man on the left looked really put together. The couple on the right, I realized, werent a couple and were certainly homeless, their stroller was filled with bundles of clothes. A little dog was tagging along behind them and I smiled. The man saw me see the pooch and he nodded and smiled at me. You dont have to travel far from my neighborhood to see homeless people but this man and woman were literally four blocks from my house -- they were in my neighborhood practically. I went home with their faces in my mind.

A couple hours later I ran out to get some more paint, as this was in the middle of my remodel work a few weeks ago. Driving down the main street I saw them again. The same homeless people from earlier! I have been practicing stopping the first time someone stands out to me but especially when they cross my path a second time. Im too aware to ignore the orchestration of that. So I looped around a couple of blocks, parked my car and walked around the corner to meet up with them. As I came walking up they didnt think anything at first but then I greeted them, not the people walking behind them, and they lit up. I explained how Id seen them earlier and then just had to come say hello when I saw them again. We introduced ourselves and talked about work and where we are from. I met their dog. They thanked me for stopping and we went our separate directions.

Time passes. Ive thought of them. I hoped that was the first of several interactions, the beginning of building relationship with them, with Zach and with Merrill. Then the blizzard hit. Superbowl Sunday and I was snowed into my house, watching the snow pile up on the sills of my windows outside, closing me in and as I went to sleep I wondered if they had found shelter from the storm. I was genuinely concerned. I dont remember if it was that night or another night but I had a dream that I ran into them again, that they were fine, theyd survived the storm. I was so relieved.

The following week I walked out of church late and as I was headed toward my car I saw a man running across the street to meet someone, carrying a little dog above his head. The site made me smile but then I recognized the man! It was Zach, running to meet Merrill near the Goodwill. So excited I called out to them and they recognized me right away. They were impressed that Id remembered their names and I was touched that they recalled mine. "We survived the storm!" Merrill said. Praise God! They asked how I was settling in and if Id made many friends yet. I told them about Cornerstone Church and turned out that Zach is friends with the man who owns the theatre that we hold church in on Sundays. I know the benefit of having a dog when youre homeless, having that companion, and I also know that it limits you from being able to enter certain places. I hope it wont be cause for them not to wander into Cornerstone some Sunday though. I cant wait to see them again.

Stitch Fix >>

Although the colors and pattern were a little out of my comfort zone I was in love with the fit and style of this top. I wore it for a few mins and felt quite at-home in it but I just didnt feel like myself when I looked in the mirror so I didnt keep it.
under $50

I love sweatshirts that are a little dressier than a regular old hoodie. I have three that I wear frequently. You would think that this one would have fit right in with my style but the transparency of the lace parts was too much for me. Haha!
over $50

This henley top was exactly my style. Again the psychedelic pattern was adventurous for me. I really wanted to keep this one but just couldnt bring myself to pay for it that month because of my limited budget.
under $50

The gold bangle is the first piece of jewelry Ive received in a "Fix. I love bangles and it felt extra fancy to get to spruce-up the styling process with a sparkly piece, however the price was laughable to me for a simple bangle.
under $50

This was my keeper piece: the skinny corduroy pants. They fit like a dream and for a girl with limited pant-wear it seemed a worth-while investment into my wardrobe. The price stopped me in my tracks, but thanks to you guys for scheduling your first "Fix" with my referral code, I had a little unexpected extra credit in my account which helped a lot. Thanks, guys!
over $50

"Fix" #3 was a great success, if you ask me! What was in your latest "Fix"?
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not sponsored by Stitch Fix