Thursday, August 28, 2014

Is it worth it?

For all the hearts that have known breakage -- You've come to the crossroads and chosen life rather than bondage to the death of it all. You have not avoided or hidden away or forgotten the loss, but you have chosen to move forward and accept the new thing that He is doing before you, and have found that this is what is really meant by "moving on". You're getting acquainted with the new you, the one heart break + healing shaped you into. You're breathing again, dreaming again, ready to begin again. [cue up that hunter hayes song!]

The pain has been felt, lived, known. The ashes have been faithfully tilled into the earth of your heart by a redemptive Hand and shockingly beautiful things are springing up from it, just as He said they would. When the beginning comes, and it does, your heart pangs and stands still, conflicted, afraid. "What if I fall?" it gasps, and something behind it softly prods, "Oh, my darling, what if you fly?"

You've been here before, you know. Heart break is a result not of failure (which is only a result of something within your control) but of a risk ventured. Few things are certain after all. Most of life is a risk. "You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices." Before the dream died you dared to dream it. Before the child passed, it was brought into being. Before the beloved was lost, you loved. They were worth the risk, right? Yes sir, yes ma'am! You were betrayed? It was not a mistake to love the one who came to betray you. You made yourself literally sick attempting to handle too much? It wasn't a mistake to try. You didn't end up where you were headed? It was not a mistake to pour yourself into the expected end.

So here we are. There is a heart before you that you want to draw nearer to, there's a dream unfolding that you want to pursue... You must risk. To have the chance at this beginning you must take the chance of another ending. We've learned enough to know that hope is found in surety, and He is the only Sure thing. So when you're on the edge of the beginning and weighing the risk, the question is not "Is it sure?", because it is not, but rather, "Is it worth it?", for however long + whatever may come.

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