Wednesday, January 16, 2013

One more day, one day more.

Worn out.
The kind of exhaustion that has you yawning and dragging all day but leaves you with fitful sleep at night. It's a hard way to live, being exhausted. Mine isn't caused by excessive activity or long days of hard work, I'm not weighed down by stress or grief, I have a bug I picked up in India -- several bugs actually. The abdominal cramps and diarrhea are horrible. As accustomed as I've become to the episodes I still feel helpless in the face of them. Then there was the shame of collecting stool samples for medical testing. And now my daily battle is with keeping enough food in me to last the day and the whole night (I've woken up early in the morning with such extreme hunger I couldn't sleep until it was time to get up before eating) and this weariness.

Praise The Lord, for His mercies never fail. They are new every morning.
My daddy picked up the test containers and dropped them off again for me. So thankful. I don't think I could have endured the humiliation. My mother is ever patient and sympathetic to my sudden hunger and constant tiredness. Sweet nurse was able to give me the name of the medicine I need. Our doctor is able to have a prescription written up for me without a doctor visit. This is Jesus stuff, people. He is a God of detail orchestration and a Father who delights to give good gifts.

And this is the thing, Jesus had to put on humanity to come to us and He grew so tired apart from His Father. I risked getting bugs in order to go to India to love the ones Jesus wanted to love through me and the result of getting those bugs is this physically drained state. It doesn't keep me from my daily tasks and the calling to love anymore than being away from Heaven made Jesus unable, but weariness does come in life and in service and if we allow it to, it will hinder us.

I am at the end of my rope. He has come through for me there, and He sustained me to that point. Tomorrow, as with the past twenty years of my life, looking to Him will give me the strength and mercy for the day, and when I am weary He carries me and I can see the cure of the weariness just ahead.
I'm talking about the needed medicine and healing from these bugs, but I mean to direct your eyes to our heavenly rest to come. "Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us..."

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