Friday, April 12, 2013

The Way I Loved You //

Even though we just came back from spring break and even though we just had a school pow-wow yesterday to get psyched up for these final months of school and the excitement and practical-benefits that high school years hold, you and I are so ready for summer break.

We're still learning the balance between hard boundaries and room to be creative, consequences and grace, nurturing the head and nurturing the heart. You work really hard and know it makes me proud and then you get distracted and bogged down and bored and you know it drives me crazy. I don't explain things clearly and you misunderstand me. You ask questions that can't be answered and I answer with irritation in my voice. Sometimes we take breaks to cool our heads and refocus our brains for hard subjects. Sometimes we power through it with arguments and confusion and hugs and loudly proclaimed assurances that I still love you.

Just when I think I'm the wort teacher or when I feel like running away from the stress of all your needs and all my inability to meet them, you come in for what I think is going to be a an annoying poke in the side, and it turns out to be a hug.

Yesterday at my low point you grabbed my hand and I tried to get it out of your grip because I thought it was just a game you were usin as a distraction but the more I pulled the more you pulled and then all of a sudden you looked me in the eyes and said, "I'm trying to hold your hand! Just let me!" So I relaxed and you held my hand lovingly all the way through the remaining lesson.

Sure I love you by sticking out the constant questions and the stress and the never ending work to be done... But you love me by sticking it out right alongside of me.

That's the way we love each other.

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